It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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