So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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