I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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