so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
