is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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