Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
