Please, let me fuck your mom
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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