You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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