She's JV to your varsity
This girl is more easily done than said...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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