Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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