Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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