i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
