My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
