butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
