Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
