Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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