There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
