Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
