So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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