Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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