it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My vagina is very pro this idea
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
