I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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