He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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