don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
