You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
