Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dicks are not precious.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
