Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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