i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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