I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
