in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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