Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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