i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
