***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
