it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
