my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
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