There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
