i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
