Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
