He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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