Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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