The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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