Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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