everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize