Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
