you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
