i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
