Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
