Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
