Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
