Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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