Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
