hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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