my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
