I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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