thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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