at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i think i have two assholes
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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