The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
