Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
