It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize