Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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