It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
