the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
