If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Ladies don't puke and tell
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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