I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize
