Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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