i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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