just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I enjoy the company of your penis
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
