people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize