I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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