Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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