i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
