well I can't set my house on fire every night
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he shaved USA in his pubs
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
