Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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