what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
