Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
